Kai just approached me to work with him at APS as an outdoor programmer/ instructor and I rejected him right after hearing the terms and co, stay in campus Mon to Fri. The whole idea of a long term arrangement like that irks me, having no freedom to do what I want, meet people I love. Very hermit-like, and I can't stand the idea of being away from Leonad so often and so much, it'd be like I'm serving the army instead of him hahaha!! And today I went for a job interview, very long working hours, the pay is pretty low with no CPF, very few benefits so to speak. I told the bosses I'll consider and get back to them but I know I won't take the job.

I feel like I'm already facing mid life crisis. Generally feeling very lost. We have all these dreams and things we want to achieve but I'm not doing my part to achieve them (yet, because I really don't know how to). I'm too passive. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is proven right in my case. I should be made an example, a case study of some sort. The very core of my being is damaged and I want it fixed.